By Kirk Flatter
 
November 13, 2008
 
MEDFORD, Ore. -- In an area with a large retirement community and a high percentage of married couples like Southern Oregon, finding that special someone can be a challenge.
 
"The most important thing in your life, career is really important, but your relationships are the quality of your life too... To have a healthy happy, loving relationships is all the difference in the world. People can have great careers, but if they don't have great relationships, sometimes it's not enough," says Couples Therapist Mary Jo Harms.
 
Harms has spent many years as a couples councilor and professor, teaching classes about relationships. She says it is possible to for singles to find their match, but they must be proactive.
 
"Go on as many dates as possible. I had one... private client who dated a hundred men over a course of about 10 years and found the love of her life," says Harms.
 
Harms suggests not rushing into anything.
 
"Nice people go to bars, nice people, you know, engage in all of that. Just know it for what it is and that's like, 'I met somebody now what do I do?'," says Harms.
 
While the bar scene provides a social setting for men and women to meet, some people turn to different options, such as speed dating, in which women stay seated at a table, and every four minutes the men rotate through.
 
Harms suggests staying busy with hobbies.
 
"Do the activities that you like to do, get involved in more activities that you would like to do. Find things where it's fun and you can meet people doing those types of things," says Harms.
 
Slopes and Trails is a singles group that has meetings at bars and restaurants to get people acquainted and plan events like hikes or river trips. The club's age group focuses mainly on 35 to 55 year-olds, but they are trying to gain a younger constituency.
 
Harms says in her years of working with relationships, she has also seen internet dating sites work, but she feels people should follow certain guidelines, like keeping conversations short, and remembering that people can be whomever they want online.