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Anchor Mom: Being the Perfect Mom

I caught wind of the Huffington Post article, ‘How to be a Perfect Mother’ over the weekend. I may have cried a little (remember I am very pregnant!).  It’s a must read article for any parent out there.  Take a look at the article before reading my comments on it.

The article said, “The perfect mother always looks nice and isn’t a slob. She takes care of herself. But it’s important for mothers to know that they need to stop being so vain and only thinking about themselves. You must dedicate your life to your children, but also have your own sense of self, because what are you? Co-dependent?”

It goes on and on about these impossible standards we’ve set for ourselves and each other.

I never realized how judgmental people can be – until becoming a mom. There are at least two ways to do everything – and everyone has an opinion on it.

Starting with birth. You get the eye roll if you go natural, the judgement if you get an epidural. Then nursing – “breast is best” parents stared me down when giving my six month old a bottle of formula.  But those same parents will stare down mothers nursing toddlers. Even something as simple as a pacifier can be enough for another to judge how good of a mom you are.

The good news is – a pacifier will not mean the difference in an A or D in grade school. And when your child gets their master’s degree, they won’t be saying “I’m so glad my mom breastfed me.”  Even more importantly, when someone is booked in the county jail they don’t say, “If only my mom would have breastfed me! Why, Mom, why?!”

So let’s give each other (and ourselves) a break and realize we’re all just moms trying to do our best.

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  1. Michelle Atkinson says:

    I’m a new mom and I know exactly what you mean – there is a lot of judgement about being a parent. All I want is for my baby to be happy, and then I will be happy, too.

    1. Danielle Craig says:

      That’s a great way to think about it! We should be cheering each other on, because it is hard! Congrats on being a new mom!

  2. Ashley Hall says:

    When I finally caved and gave Jackson a pacifier after he cried non-stop for a day with nothing wrong, I cried. I thought that was a sign of my mothering skills being inadequate. In the days following birth, I was a ball of hormones that was not always easy to handle (thanks, hubby!). And it only took about 2 minutes of Jackson being soothed with the paci for me to realize my judgement of myself for needing a crutch for my child to be calmed was ridiculous. Feel free to judge me – I guarantee it’s not nearly as tough as the judgement I levy upon myself.

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